He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
