i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".