Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
