If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize