he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
