I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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