I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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