i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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