grandma shit on top of the toilet
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
only you would photoshop your dick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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