Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
