Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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