I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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