don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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