dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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