Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
