I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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