This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
