grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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