After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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