so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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