how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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