do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm too high and old for this...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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