so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize