So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cockslap morals
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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