do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
