maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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