drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Enjoy the penises
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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