you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
