I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize