Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
