Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize