There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize