You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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