"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If that was your dad, he is hot
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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