I just cut my nipple shaving
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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