it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize