Where are you?
In a non slutty way
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
