I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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