somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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