# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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