Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm not a real person

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry, everyone knows that

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  (586): I'm not a real person (586): I'm sorry, everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/uvd5
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (864)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.

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  (443): told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why? (410): i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks. http://tfl.nu/uckj
  Replies (63) Good night (589) Bad night (8727)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

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  (313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn
  Replies (19) Good night (1244) Bad night (6082) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3810) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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  (707): just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved. http://tfl.nu/zste
  Replies (20) Good night (9541) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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  (289): The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight. http://tfl.nu/z22w
  Replies (5) Good night (6798) Bad night (813)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  (313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy
  Replies (3) Good night (2209) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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  (210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc
  Replies (4) Good night (3917) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment

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  (847): i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment http://tfl.nu/9by6
  Replies (3) Good night (2302) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.

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  (706): When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me. http://tfl.nu/9m66
  Replies (9) Good night (1936) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

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  (727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now? http://tfl.nu/ch6a
  Replies (10) Good night (619) Bad night (1352) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.

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  (507): I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner. http://tfl.nu/ny52
  Replies (14) Good night (1079) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

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  (469): How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder? http://tfl.nu/t2rf
  Replies (9) Good night (268) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society

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  (307): I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society http://tfl.nu/0efv
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.

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  (510): Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day. http://tfl.nu/eul1
  Replies (2) Good night (281) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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