I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
