I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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