Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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