physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
