Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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