i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
