Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize