I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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