I wish life had little blips of pornography
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize