i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
two words...techno handjob
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Two words: nipple clamps
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