Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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